Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
