no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
