Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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