Whod you bang
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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