i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So vagazzling was a success
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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