I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
