PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
