the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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