Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
