my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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