i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
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