i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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