Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
