you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The air taste purple.
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