Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
