am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
