at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
