You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
