why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
