OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
