He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
