he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
