You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
