I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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