I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so let's talk penis.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So much rum. So many feels.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
