Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
