i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Randomize
