Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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