long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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