Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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