I'm drive I can fine osifer
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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