I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize