party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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