Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
home. puking in laundry basket.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
