i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
