You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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