After last night, I could never be a politician.
we're making bets on your personal life
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
