We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
