im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
