i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
