If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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