I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
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Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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