I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You can't motorboat a personality
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
