Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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