Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is Oprah even human
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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