Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
