Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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