This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize