its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
