Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize