Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
