and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
