elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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