Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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