he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
