Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
