At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
