did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
