Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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