The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
