Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
