That's intense
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
