Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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