Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
